TRANSACTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS

When human relationships are analyzed, in almost every case the relationship is transactional, which means anything offered is done so with the expectation of some reward. This is true between friends, parents and their children or between siblings. What is true for business relationships has become the norm for every other relationship as well. How do we respond to this? An interesting episode in the early life of David highlights this fact.

Saul said to David, “Here is my older daughter Merab. I will give her to you in marriage; only serve me bravely and fight the battles of the Lord.” For Saul said to himself, “I will not raise a hand against him. Let the Philistines do that!”But David said to Saul, “Who am I, and what is my family or my clan in Israel, that I should become the king’s son-in-law?” (1Samuel 18:17,18)

Finding the rapidly increasing popularity of David brought on by the indwelling presence of God within him to be a threat, Saul attempts to bind David’s hand by offering his daughter’s hand in marriage. And Saul’s words reflect the transactional nature of this relationship he sought to establish. In return for Merab’s hand, Saul wanted lifelong loyalty from David and in effect become his slave, fighting his battles and doing his bidding. David responds with wisdom and makes a humble statement about his stature. In reality though, he was refusing to enter into a transactional relationship with Saul. David knew by faith that God would raise him to be king of Israel and that by entering into a relationship with Saul through his daughter and agreeing to serve him, he would only be limiting himself.

While man selfishly leans towards transactional relationships, God deals with man with unconditional love. This is the highest form of love wherein God loves us and gives us his all before we could do anything for him and even if we don’t. Our love response to God will always be inferior and secondary to his love. As John says, 

We love because he first loved us. (1John 4:19)

It is that nature of love that needs to be captured in our relationships with others around us. Can we love and serve without any expectation of reward? And like David we need to be careful of submitting to relationships where we are being prodded to submit to another and serve another, outside the will of God.

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