IF I PERISH, I PERISH
The story of Esther in the Bible is one of the most extraordinary stories in the Bible. Esther was a commoner, part of the exiled Jews, living in the Persian Empire at its peak, ruled by Xerxes. Yet through a series of events, Queen Vashti, who was a royal from birth, powerful in the court and the wife of Xerxes, ends up being banished or likely executed by Xerxes. Not only so, in what was most improbable, Esther was picked up as one of the potential candidates to replace her, and ends up ascending to the throne of queen, finding favor with the king. Parallel to this we also see the formation of an evil plan under the initiative of Haman, the most powerful royal in the court, to exterminate the Jews across the dominant Persian empire. Again through a miraculous apparent coincidence of a series of events including a failed plot to assassinate the king, a sleepless night for the king, revisiting the royal chronicles, the king’s decision to honor Mordecai the adoptive father of Esther and the king allowing Esther to come in and make a petition of the king, all work in concert to save the Jews from extermination and become a favored group of people in the Persian empire. And as Esther wrestles with the need to go in uninvited to the kings’ presence, an act punishable by death, she makes this thematic statement that defines her and this book, “If I perish, I perish.”
Every person wishes a comfortable life here on earth, and would rather go through a series of pleasures and triumphs. Yet, life is anything but that and often man is faced with uncomfortable, painful decisions, that threaten to cost him his all. Such was the case with Esther. She had barely gone through a miraculous turn of events wherein she was raised from being a nobody to being the most powerful woman in the Empire. Yet, now she felt the inward pressure to risk her very life on the behalf of her people. Looking at death, she however faced it head on and pressed forward.
This was also a declaration of her identity. When she went in to compete for the position of queen, she was instructed by Mordecai not to reveal her Jewish identity, because they were an exiled nation and not favored in the Persian Empire. Yet, now she had to reveal to King Xerxes that she was Jewish and that she is imploring on behalf of her people. A disciple’s true identity is that of belonging to God and when the call comes to reveal that identity to the world around, there is often a reluctance. Yet, we are called to acknowledge him before men.
Esther is the only book in the Bible that does not mention the word ‘God’, yet the working of God in the background turn of events to accomplish his will is unmistakable. Esther’s decision was also one of choosing between the pleasures of this world for a moment versus deciding to use one’s abilities and resources for the kingdom of God. In this case, Esther felt the call of God within her to save her people. And as one embarks on that journey of service to God, it might mean loss from a worldly point of view.
“If I perish, I perish” is a statement that shows a willingness on the part of the disciple to lay everything on the line. Often that is what defines discipleship.
